I wonder where I will be 5 years from now. That's always the stupid question they ask you on job interviews, right? But for some reason lately I have been thinking more about my "future". My future typically meant next week, or maybe a month ahead, but now I am starting to think more long term. Maybe it's because I have more aspects of my life in order, or just that I am getting older and starting to see how fast time flies by even if you don't plan a path for yourself and carve out your place in this life. I believe that I could pretty much be doing anything with my life five years from now, or doing exactly what I am right now (which would be A-OK, I am not complaining). I could be at the same job in this city or I could transfer to another city, I could have left my job here to take another one, I could be a mom to a son or daughter, or still a mommy to my cat Alice (she's enough of a handful!), I could be living in my same apartment, or have left here for other, perhaps greener, pastures.
Five years ago I was still in the first job I took after law school. I'm on my third job now, and went from poor to being able to buy a place, move in and make it my home. I've had a couple of boyfriends, made new friends and lost some old ones. With everything I've been through and done in the last five years, it has me wondering where I'll be five years from now. I guess figuring out where I want to be is the first step to making sure I get there, but figuring that out is the hard part.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Monday, July 16, 2007
We now rejoin summer in progress...
Well, I am back from my extended weekend in North Carolina with Charlie and it was a great trip! I had some feelings of trepidation about driving instead of flying, but Charlie convinced me a road trip would be fun and he was right. (He is usually right...) We learned some new roads, how to navigate around the NJ Turnpike (which I am sure will come in handy again) and that Satellite Radio (with nationwide traffic updates) is indispensable when you are driving ten hours with only two 20 minute stops. And I learned that if you can spend that many hours in the car together and turn around and drive back three days later and not get tired of someone, it tells you something very promising about your compatibility! Oh sure, we got annoyed, but usually together at the bozo in front of us holding up traffic!
I got to meet Charlie's brother, B, who moved to NC recently and bought a beautiful new home. B did a wonderful job furnishing his home and it will be a great place for him to start a family some day. I hope he'll be very happy there, and I know he'll have fun gardening once the sod goes down and the trees get planted! I'll admit it was a little depressing that he paid A LOT less for his 3 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath home than I did for my one bedroom apartment, but as Charlie and I observed this weekend, we get SCREWED in NY with housing, even more than we thought.
We all had lots of laughs together and I even got to watch some old VHS tapes that B had of when he and Charlie were kids and all the crazy things they used to do. My favorite was the one where B taped Charlie cooking dinner for some neighbors and kept rolling even when a small fire started on the stove and their friend fell onto the floor laughing!
While we were there we wanted to see everything there was to see, so we even drove out to the Outer Banks of NC. Now when the hurricane season comes and those dumb newscasters are standing on the beach in the storms, I can say "I've been there!". It was beautiful - not unlike the North Fork of Long Island but a lot more public/tourist friendly. If they have private beaches there, we didn't see any. All in all NC was a lot nicer than I had anticipated so I was pleasantly surprised, and I think being in such wonderful company really made the trip so much fun! Next up driving to Miami...just kidding! haha
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Just Venting....
I'm stealing the idea from Charlie Mc that he stole from Kate, and writing things I would like to, but never will, say to certain people, without saying who they are. I may not get to 10, but I'll get in the most important ones:
1. I wish you would stop being afraid of change and of challenge and would seek out a better life for yourself, an independent life, because at this rate you are going to turn around in a few years and regret having spent the best years of your life like this.
2. You were like my sister, but so much better than a sister could ever have been. We were identical in so many ways. How could you let yourself turn into something so horrible and hurtful, why didn't you stop it even when you knew it was wrong and destroying you? I get so sad that I don't even miss you because I cannot miss what you became.
3. You are such a good person, and you are caring and sweet and deserve so much out of life. I hate watching you continue down this path, and with someone who has nothing to offer you but promises of things that will never come.
4. You tried to ruin my life. You did crush my soul and show me how low my life can go. The change in my life without you in it is like black and white from bad to good. I rarely think of you, and when I do it is only with intense hatred and regret for every minute of my life I wasted with you and can never get back. My life is infinitely better in your absence.
5. We've grown up to be so completely different that it amazes me how fully we still understand each other. You challenge me to see my life from a different perspective, to embrace new beginnings, not to be afraid of what life holds. I admire and respect you more than you think, because I don't have the courage or the fortitude to live my life how you live yours. But I am grateful to be able to live vicariously through you, and grateful our friendship persists no matter what.
6. I love you. In my life I never dared to think I would find what I have found with you. I feel happier and more content than I ever have before because you are in my life. I don't want for anything more than for time spent with you. I think about you and us in ways that are new to me and wonderful. You give me hope.
7. I wish we had more time to spend together. I miss your friendship. We see eye to eye on many things, and I wish you didn't have a job that demanded so much of your time and energy. But I am glad for your success and hope it brings you a life of happiness.
8. Ours is a friendship that started with your guidance when I was fresh out of school, and grew closer through my personal pain, and now through yours, but no matter what happens we have stayed close and enjoyed ourselves, exploring gardens, museums, or just a brunch menu. It troubles me to see you wrestling with such hurtful things in your life, and I pray that you will come out of this a stronger and happier woman.
9. I'm sorry we grew apart over time, and that we couldn't maintain our friendship, but the advice you gave me was dead on, and I should have listened to you and heeded your warnings earlier. You knew me well, and I miss the things we shared.
10. You looked out for me and showed me, just by being you, what a "good" guy was supposed to be. You were like the older brother I never had, and I miss you terribly but I am so happy that like has taken you down such a happy and fulfilling path. You deserve it all and more.
Kate, you're right....I do feel better now!
1. I wish you would stop being afraid of change and of challenge and would seek out a better life for yourself, an independent life, because at this rate you are going to turn around in a few years and regret having spent the best years of your life like this.
2. You were like my sister, but so much better than a sister could ever have been. We were identical in so many ways. How could you let yourself turn into something so horrible and hurtful, why didn't you stop it even when you knew it was wrong and destroying you? I get so sad that I don't even miss you because I cannot miss what you became.
3. You are such a good person, and you are caring and sweet and deserve so much out of life. I hate watching you continue down this path, and with someone who has nothing to offer you but promises of things that will never come.
4. You tried to ruin my life. You did crush my soul and show me how low my life can go. The change in my life without you in it is like black and white from bad to good. I rarely think of you, and when I do it is only with intense hatred and regret for every minute of my life I wasted with you and can never get back. My life is infinitely better in your absence.
5. We've grown up to be so completely different that it amazes me how fully we still understand each other. You challenge me to see my life from a different perspective, to embrace new beginnings, not to be afraid of what life holds. I admire and respect you more than you think, because I don't have the courage or the fortitude to live my life how you live yours. But I am grateful to be able to live vicariously through you, and grateful our friendship persists no matter what.
6. I love you. In my life I never dared to think I would find what I have found with you. I feel happier and more content than I ever have before because you are in my life. I don't want for anything more than for time spent with you. I think about you and us in ways that are new to me and wonderful. You give me hope.
7. I wish we had more time to spend together. I miss your friendship. We see eye to eye on many things, and I wish you didn't have a job that demanded so much of your time and energy. But I am glad for your success and hope it brings you a life of happiness.
8. Ours is a friendship that started with your guidance when I was fresh out of school, and grew closer through my personal pain, and now through yours, but no matter what happens we have stayed close and enjoyed ourselves, exploring gardens, museums, or just a brunch menu. It troubles me to see you wrestling with such hurtful things in your life, and I pray that you will come out of this a stronger and happier woman.
9. I'm sorry we grew apart over time, and that we couldn't maintain our friendship, but the advice you gave me was dead on, and I should have listened to you and heeded your warnings earlier. You knew me well, and I miss the things we shared.
10. You looked out for me and showed me, just by being you, what a "good" guy was supposed to be. You were like the older brother I never had, and I miss you terribly but I am so happy that like has taken you down such a happy and fulfilling path. You deserve it all and more.
Kate, you're right....I do feel better now!
Monday, July 2, 2007
Vacation!
I had a wonderful weekend - but it went way too fast, as always! I've got one day of work before a nice long five day break! The last time I had a break this long it was a week off to do stuff around the house. This will be much more exciting! I have more plans for the next five days than I usually have in a two week span. But everything will be perfect summer fun...a water park, a big BBQ party, the Beach, a holiday morning run, and some good ol' relaxation! I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday and that at some point we remember and celebrate how glad we are that we aren't speaking with that snooty English accent, smiling with bad teeth, and putting weird condiments (vinegar anyone?) on our french fries.
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